Archive for December, 2008

H50: McGarrett gets licked by dog, books himself

2 amusing dog-related clips from the otherwise horrible Hawaii Five-0 Season 11 episode “The Bark and the Bite”.

How’s my writing? Would you read a story like this?

Question by hp_resource: How’s my writing? Would you read a story like this?
This is an edited version of a writing exercise from last week. My goal was to make it less of an “exercise” and closer to the beginnings of an actual story. Are any parts confusing? Does anything make you go “that’s dumb”? Please be specific! Thanks for reading!

Meredith Staple loved dating, but hated first dates. She was ten minutes late, had rolled a high-heeled ankle, tore her stockings, lost her date’s phone number and realized that she had forgotten to put on deodorant.

“Dianne!” Meredith shrieked into her cell phone, limping across a crosswalk.

“Is the date over already?”

“Dianne, are you sure this restaurant exists? I’ve been down the block twice already. The hot dog vendor thinks I’m stalking him.”

“He hopes you’re stalking him. When you do yourself up for a date you’re one of the most gorgeous women in the city.”

“I’m also one of the most lost women in the city… where the hell is this place?”

“You won’t see it until you’re right next to it,” Dianne said. “He didn’t make up the restaurant; James wouldn’t ditch you before he’s even met you.”

“He’ll just wait until I’ve sat down to ditch me?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Will he be mad that I’m late?”

Dianne hesitated.

“Dammit, Dianne, why do you set me up with the most uptight guys?”

“He’s not that uptight… just a little particular. Once he talks to you he won’t even care how crazy you are.”

Meredith cursed at her throbbing ankle.

“How is it that I train for marathons without a scratch, but I get an injury walking to a restaurant?”

“First dates are their own kind of marathon,” Dianne said.

“Yeah, and I’m a veteran with a lot of miles behind me.”

Meredith nearly passed the restaurant for a third time.

“Okay I found the restaurant, I’ve gotta go.”

“Wait!” Dianne called desperately from halfway to Meredith’s purse.

“God, WHAT?” Meredith pressed the cell against her shoulder. “I’m already late!” She plumped her hair with her free hands.

“Can you see him? Tell me what you think. You need a minute to catch your breath, anyway.”

The windows were like mirrors, reflecting the lights of the passing cars. Meredith cupped her free hand against her face and pressed herself up to the window.

She hadn’t expected tables to be directly on the other side of the glass.

Squatting awkwardly, with her face pressed into the glass and contorted into what she later realized was a stupefied expression, Meredith was nearly face-to-face with a man seated for dinner. He had been smiling at the waitress, his teeth gleaming against chocolate-brown skin. He was so handsome that Meredith’s impulse to push away from the glass was overwhelmed by the impulse to stare at his smile and into his eyes and enjoy the girlish leaping of her heart.

Though her eyes never left his face, Meredith registered that he was holding a rose exactly like the one James said he would bring. She felt her eyebrows fly into her bangs. This was James.

James also realized who he was looking at, and his smile turned to the expression one wears while watching a person about to get hurt on America’s Funniest Videos. “THIS is my date?” was written all over his mortified face.

With his smile gone, Meredith regained her wits and her impulse to push away from the glass. The entire restaurant was staring at her. She limped away from the window, cursing frantically.

“If you think he’s that unattractive,” said a voice near Meredith’s ear, “there is no man in the world hot enough for you.” Meredith had completely forgotten about Dianne.

“Dianne, he’s the most handsome guy I’ve ever seen in my life and I just made an ass of myself.”

“Did he see you make an ass of yourself?”

“Of course! I pancaked myself against the window to look inside and he was RIGHT THERE. He looked horrified. I’d be surprised if he’s still sitting there.” Meredith’s thudding heartbeat almost made her cough. She took a shallow breath and said, “I’m not going to go in.”

“Meredith…” Dianne sounded exasperated.

“It’ll be better this way,” Meredith said. “He gets to leave without feeling guilty for not calling me back, and I won’t feel guilty about letting him pay for a really expensive meal.” She was already feeling better, thinking about going back home, getting out of her stupid heels and curling up with a pint of ice cream.

“If you don’t go back in there and make a good second-impression,” Dianne was using her serious voice now, “I’m swear to God I will follow you to every first date you will ever have for the rest of your life and make sure that they’re more miserable than this one has been so far.”

Meredith groaned. Dianne wasn’t joking.

“What if I just never have a first date again for the rest of my life?”

“Isn’t that what you’ve been hoping for?”

Meredith closed her eyes. She nodded, even though Dianne couldn’t see her. Behind her eyelids she saw James’s smile and her heart swelled with the possibility of this date leading
to marriage and a life of no more dating. The swell became an ache when she thought of giving up that possibility for some silly Haagen-Daaz.

“Will you still call me in a half hour?” Meredith sighed, “just in case I need a pretend emergency to bail me out?”

“I will. Now go.”

Meredith shakily slid the phone into her purse and snapped the clasp shut. She limped towards the restaurant door, past the window where a lanky kid in an apron was glaring at her and wiping down the skin-smudged glass.

She mentally rehearsed what she would say to break the ice. Hopefully it would be enough to turn a first date into a last first date.

If you’re interested in seeing the previous draft:;_ylt=Avd2QRr3SccBDEftkJjRMVnty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090425165804AAzRvIl

Thanks again for reading!

Best answer:

Answer by (:
aw, thats reallly good! i’d love to read the rest of it! it’d also be great if you got published. this is really good, no lie. something i’d read. i love this part:

“Dianne, are you sure this restaurant exists? I’ve been down the block twice already. The hot dog vendor thinks I’m stalking him.”

great job, girl! keep writing. you’ll go far. -emily.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

Fromm’s Dog Food – Four Star Grain-Free Surf & Turf 4lb Reviews

Fromm’s Dog Food – Four Star Grain-Free Surf & Turf 4lb

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Fromm’s Four Star Grain-Free Surf & Turf dog food formula contains a blend of fresh Wisconsin duck, wild salmon, chicken, hand-picked vegetables and fruit, eggs, and real Wisconsin cheese, In addition, this food includes a combination of Probiotics and Prebiotics to enhance the growth of beneficial bacteria, and inhibit the growth of harmful bacteria such as E Coli and Salmonella. Fromm’s Four Star Grain-Free Surf & Turf does not contain grains of any kind. The Surf & Turf formula provides comp

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Dog Owner’s Manual – The Ultimate Dog Guide!

Dog Owner’s Manual – The Ultimate Dog Guide!

Dogs are an integral part of human society on every inhabited continent on Earth. They drive livestock and protect it; police property; scent and detect illicit substances; haul sleds; retrieve game; guide the blind; search for and rescue the lost and injured; comfort the lonely; hear for the deaf; or simply add a sparkling natural reality to the lives of hundreds of millions of people throughout the world.

As we move from an agrarian to an urban culture, dogs are in many ways one of our

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Dog Spaying and Neutering – Another Good Reason to Get Your Dog “Fixed”

Dog Spaying and Neutering – Another Good Reason to Get Your Dog “Fixed”

Dog neutering and spaying are now now considered “mandatory” by most pet owners, but your local dog pound is still filled with unwanted dogs. That seems to prove that some people don’t get around to taking their pets to the vet for this crucial procedure.

Some people don’t choose to have their dog “fixed” before it breeds because the dog is male, and they don’t usually have the responsibility of finding homes for the puppies that he fathers on their neighbor’s unspayed bitch.

But why would someone choose to go through the bother of having a dog that isn’t spayed, and that goes into heat at least twice a year? Perhaps it’s because the owners have found that the puppies are easy to find homes for, either because it’s a popular breed, or because the puppies will become small dogs, which are always in demand.

The owners may even be able to sell their puppies to people who appear to have good, loving homes for the pups. So why not?

Because, even if the pups are easy to sell or give away, it doesn’t guarantee that they’ll live out their lives with the people who took the cute, cuddly creatures home with them. If the new owners run into problems, the puppy is very likely to end up at the local animals shelter, although the people who allowed their dog to breed will never know about it.

Here’s what happened to a litter of pups that I helped to find homes for:

A friend asked me to put a notice up on the bulletin board where I work, announcing that five free Border collie/chocolate lab puppies were available.

At the moment, these two breeds are popular, and within a week all the puppies were living with one of my fellow employees.

And within six months after that, I learned that three out of the five had ended up in the local animal shelter.

None of these folks contacted the person who actually gave them the puppies prior to giving them to the Humane Society, so she found out (through me) only after it was too late to do anything about it.

One puppy was given up because a veterinary check found it was suffering from epilepsy, an illness that would become expensive and could be emotionally devastating to the owners. They didn’t feel they could properly care for a puppy with such a serious health problem, and it’s unlikely that the Humane Society was able to find a new owner who was willing to take on the expense.

Another puppy was taken to the pound because the owners weren’t prepared for a typical Labrador problem – the puppy chewed up everything it could find when it was left alone. Again, both adults worked outside the home for long hours, and the puppy had ten hours every day to remove the stuffing from the couch, take the arms off teddy bears, and gnaw on chair legs.

When it was locked in the utility room it managed to find a loose edge in the vinyl flooring, which caused considerable expense. When left outside in the fenced yard it howled, whined, and dug up the flower beds. After several months and hundreds of dollars in damages, the puppy went to the pound.

And the third puppy was given up because an older dog in the house didn’t like the competition. As the puppy got older, the owners were seriously concerned that one of the dogs would be injured in a fight. Since they felt one of them had to go, and they knew and loved the older dog more, the pup ended up in a cage at the pound. Of the three, this one had the greatest chance of finding a new home.

I don’t blame any of these folks for not keeping the puppies, but it was unfortunate that the “cute” had grown out of the pups before they were taken to the Humane Society for a second try at adoption.

And the original owner took every care to find good homes for the puppies in the first place. She couldn’t foresee any of these problems, and did her best to screen the people who came to look at the litter.

Unfortunately, most people never know what happens when they give away a dog or puppy, so the consequences of not spaying or neutering their dog is never fully understood. They believe that if they give a puppy to a good home, he’ll be happy and content with his new owners. In many cases, however, this doesn’t turn out to be true. The animal shelters are full of dogs who once had a home, but the owners, for a variety of reasons, simply couldn’t keep them.

The moral of the story? You already know that, of course. Make an appointment with your veterinarian for a spaying or neutering operation, if you haven’t done so already. You and your dog will both be happier, and the local pound will have fewer unlucky pups to try to find homes for.

You’ll learn more about dog spaying and neutering, read articles that help you choose the right dog for adoption, and find a complete directory of local Humane Societies and animal shelters, at

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Newman’s Own Organics Adult Dog Food Formula, 12.5-Pound Bag Reviews

Newman’s Own Organics Adult Dog Food Formula, 12.5-Pound Bag

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Newman’s Own Organics Adult Dog Food Chicken & Rice Formula is a new holistic formula based on the newest concept in animal nutrition.

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My Dog Is a Genius: How to Improve Your Dog’s Intelligence

My Dog Is a Genius: How to Improve Your Dog’s Intelligence

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Dogs are smarter than most people think! With help from this entertaining book, owners of prize-winning canines, ordinary mongrels, and all other kinds in between can learn how to bring out their pooch’s inner genius. The author starts off by describing the mind of a typical dog, focusing on its perceptions, emotions, instincts, and ways in which it learns. He discusses special abilities and traits of specific breeds, and tells how to “decode” a mongrel–that is, figure out the different breeds

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